Humans are not complete without emotions. In fact, these emotions make them impossible to define in plain and simple terms. Here, we categorize emotions into two sets. When an action of a single human effects an individual emotional state and creates an emotion, we say it is an ‘individual induced emotion’ (IIE) e.g. jealousy or envy after seeing someone’s car, hate and love for an individual, anger towards an individual because he/she has done or said something etc. When an emotion is a byproduct of an action of a large group, we call it ‘group induced emotion’ (GIE) e.g. Hate for Muslims after 9/11, caste based discrimination in India, hate for alien cultures, envy for some nation’s wealth, respect for a brave race etc.
Similarly, we also classify actions. Any individual action which causes IIE (or a GIE is a very small group) is classified as ‘individual oriented actions’ (IOA) e.g. showing off wealth in neighborhood, shopping useless but fancy products, public display of affection etc. If an action by an individual is done to influence or create GIE is called ‘group oriented actions’ e.g. actions of politicians, saints, intellectuals, scientists etc.
We are confused where to put humor. We consider it as ‘zero’ element of our emotions. It is present in both GIE and IIE. The purpose of ‘humor’ is also not well defined. We can not say why individual uses humor while making an argument and why people who are humorous can say many things which they would not dare say in plain terms.
Lemma 1 : A human male is like a capacitor.
Capacitors are usually not coupled. Charging and discharging of one capacitor does not affect the charge on other capacitor (unless they are coupled). This is to say that a male in a group is not at all interested in others IIE. He is mostly interested in GIE for his or his group benefits. A group of men can live together without causing IIE. This is an oversimplification.
Lemma 2 : A female is like a inductor.
Inductors have this property of ‘mutual and self inductance’. They are mostly coupled to each other. Any instant of charging or discharging of an inductor changes the state of other inductors. This is to say, in a group of females, any action of one female emotionally influences females in group. They causes IIE. This is to say, they mostly talk about personal stuff in for the sole purpose of enhancing or reducing IIE’s of the member of groups. This is also an simplification.
NOTE: Group induced emotions such as motivation, inspiration, patriotism (love for fellow citizens), nationalism (hate for foreigners), enlightenment, humor are caused by GOA. GOA changes ‘intellectual emotions’ (if I can say it that way) while IOA targets IIE (‘personal emotions’). We are not saying that female only communicate in a way which only causes individual effects. We meant to emphasis on the fact that one can clearly see the females have inclination for this kind of behavior.
Lemma 3 : A relationship is ‘oscillation’ in a circuit formed by L and C (we are not considering R right now). Strength of a relationship is the frequency of oscillation.
Theorem 1 : A capacitor (inductor) can be converted into a inductor (capacitor) by using a gyrator.
Proof can be located on internet easily. This is to say, with some extra circuitry called gyrator we can make a capacitor behave like an inductor and vice versa. Equivalently, a male can behave like an female and vice versa, with the help of some ‘means’ (gyrator). To keep this blog short, we leave this undefined.
Definition : A lasting ‘relationship b/w male and female’ is like sustainable oscillation in a capacitor-inductor circuit without consuming any power.
Well, to understand this one has to take basic course in ‘Network theory’. We assume that you have taken it. Now, we restate the common wisdom in our language.
For every capacitor (male) , there exists a inductor (female), and together they form an LC circuit (a relationship) which oscillate at its natural frequency (happily ever-after) without consuming any power (with no compromise on anyone’s part). Otherwise, the oscillations (relationship) dies out after certain time. To sustain oscillation in imperfectly matching LC circuit, one has to introduce a power source (work-out on a relationships).
Its almost impossible to define a matching pair. Once defined, finding is not a tough task. Existence of such pair is mathematically guaranteed in our theory. According to this blogger, if one chooses to form a relationship, one can look out whether they have a common and mutual understanding. If yes, then the oscillation can be sustained with little or no effort (with a weaker power source).
We still have not touched the ‘resistor’ (externalities or friction in a relationship). We now stop building this theory. We may come back to it some other day. May be someone else might like to build it up. I am convinced that one can not go very far with it. It is doomed to fail because ‘no human behave like a circuit element’. Anyway, you get the ideas.
PS : My friend pointed out that nothing changes if I consider males as L and females as C. I was thinking of considering children as small coils. Since mothers have much more influence on their children, this is only possible if ‘females’ are inductors else coupling is not possible between them. On this, she called me crazy :-p :-(